My first pregnancy

I remember as if it happened 15 minutes ago. It was March 18, 2016 my husband and I were at home. My husband looked at me and said: You are pregnant, amazement seized me. It was not what I used to hear. The common thing for me, it was the woman to announce to her husband and not the other way around.

In an instant, I entered the silence. I was talking to myself. I wondered if he was asking or was asserting; whether he was playing or serious; whether he was in or out of it. Out of my mouth came the second question out. It was the most advisable at the time, but he said: I’m serious, you’re pregnant.

I so wanted it to be true. But he was also afraid to raise the expectation. I needed to understand better. I was with him 10 years ago, and for four years living together. We already wanted the blessing of having a daughter or a son, but I had trouble conceiving. That was good news, but it was hard for me to believe. How could my husband be so sure, but I did not even feel that I was pregnant.

My husband explained to me that he was the one who was feeling the symptoms of pregnancy. He was the one who felt the sickness, vomits, and the desires [laughs …]. I had an irregular menstrual cycle, so even that signal did not work for me. Then I was expecting it. If you had told me by day, you would have run to the hospital, but it was night. So we went to sleep. In fact, I could not sleep so anxious to confirm it. I just waited for the night to pass.

When the darkness passed, I went to bathe. I dressed and went hastily to the Hospital José Macamo. I got there at 7.00. I wanted to do the pregnancy test as fast as possible, the expectation was enormous. I went to the hospital. From my husband’s arguments, I thought I was pregnant, but after taking the test, my stomach was cold. The fear that it might not be that time took over me. Upon seeing the result, a deep joy filled my chest and in my eyes came tears of emotion.

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There was so much satisfaction … and I wanted to know the sex of the baby. I already wanted to have my doctor, open a file as I heard it happen to other women who had become pregnant. And the doctor looked at me and said, calm down that this is not now, wait for three months. It pinched my emotion, but I was already very happy. I who had trouble conceiving was pregnant! In my mind was a new step in life, a new era.

~ Baby stirred ~

I was sitting on the sofa in the living room watching TV. It was about 20.00 hours, which was in May, the third month. Suddenly I felt a movement inside my belly. It was inexplicable and pleasant. I caught a fright at first, because he found me by surprise and did not know what to do. When I realized it was the baby’s move, I stared at that wonderful feeling.

Then I perceived the great divine blessing that was within me and I burst into tears of so much emotion. At that moment came to my mind great defeated adversities and the great value of the moment that was passing in my life. I remembered my husband, picked up his cell phone and sent a message saying: the baby moved. He immediately called me and said: I’m leaving the office, I’ll be there in a little while.

She could not wait for him to get home. She wanted him to feel the baby stirring. When he got home he put his hand on my belly for a good few hours waiting for the next shake, because the baby would stir and stop and then move again. It was a spectacular moment. My husband went to sleep with his hands on my belly, which cheered.

~*~

The third month was also the moment when I started to have a doctor and I opened the file, this already in the Central Hospital of Maputo. I started having a consultation on the 20th of each month. It was also the time when I did the reprography, which was to know the sex of the baby. That made me a little upset [laughs …]. We could not know sex before birth. It showed no sex, only the buttocks.

~*~

The pregnancy in my life was a time of great joy, but also accompanied by changes. I lost some friends, who started to look at me as old, because I could not go to discos and certain environments that were no longer good for me.

Being at home with my husband after work was already good before, with pregnancy becoming better still. It turned in our heads that idea that we would be one more and coming from our relationship. The family relationship was wonderful because they already charged.

~ Emergence of the belly ~

When my belly appeared it looked like two basketballs. It took some time, but when it came up I even thought I was going to have twins [laughs …]. I began to get used to weight gain. At the time of pregnancy that was a charm, even because I knew it was not my weight that was increasing, but the baby that was inside me. I also knew that the belly does not weigh [laughs …].

The more it grew the more difficulty it had to sleep. I went to sleep on my back and when I wanted to turn I had to get up and sometimes ask my husband to help me. In the ninth month I began to sleep on the couch. I could not wait to give birth.

~ Birth ~

On the 10th of December I woke up and with my “belly-up” I sat on the couch. It was my husband’s birthday. When he passed by, I always asked him to take me to the hospital to give birth [laughs]. My husband laughed and said: you’re not well we’re not even on schedule.

My mother-in-law was living with us. My grandmother had told me that the day she woke up and did a clean-up, that would be the day. This had not yet happened. But I would tell my husband to accompany me to the hospital. He refused. I stayed every day 10, nothing: not born. I slept. Day 11, nothing: not born. I slept.

~*~

On the 12th I woke up with a desire to clean my room. I worked hard until I got out of bed and got the baby’s briefcase. Then I sat down in the living room. Around 3:00 pm my mother-in-law came to the room and invited me to walk.

We left. We turned the road. We walked slowly. For me it was good gymnastics. That was beautiful, too. Mother-in-law strolling with her daughter-in-law these days! Suddenly he could not walk well. My feet started to catch and I was tired. I told my mother-in-law that I could not walk anymore. She replied that it was nothing. We continue to walk.

Even clinging feet I struggled. I struggled until we got home. I went to the bathroom. Then I had dinner and stayed with my mother-in-law in the living room watching television. At 20.40, I said goodbye to my mother-in-law: Mom, I’m going to bed in the bedroom. I went to my room, opened the door, entered, and closed. When she was about to climb onto the bed, the bag of water that protects her baby burst. I started to sound a little panicked: Mom! Mommy! Mommy!

My mother-in-law came running, opened the bedroom door, and tried to find out what had happened, and I told her.

So my mother-in-law called my husband who was on duty to report that the bag had broken. They called a taxi and we went to Maputo Central Hospital. The doctors watched me. I had complications, I arrived stayed; they gave me whey; and then they said: there is no alternative you can only go to the operating room. The baby was no longer moving; the water was already gone; I only felt temporary pain and.

Listening to the operating theater, fear scaled my heart. I was emotionally sick. I was about to have a cesarean. I have problems with tension. He could not “strain” at that moment. I tried to control myself, what mattered was the health of the baby and we did not dialogue with myself.

I went into the operating room at 23.00. She was lying on a bed. A doctor was standing at my right side, very close to my head. In the belly zone were the doctors. Right, if that was their name, but to me they were all doctors that day, thank God they served me well [laughs …]. I was given a local anesthetic in the spine. I woke up and had to talk to the doctor next to me.

The doctor tried to pull off a conversation, but I was not there. She turned out to be a journalist. I would ask questions and I would answer while the Caesarean section was happening. I wanted to know where I live; with whom; what he did; these things all. I felt it only when they pulled the baby out. When I heard her cry, I started to cry.

A supernatural and wonderful feeling took over me at that moment. The blessing I had hoped for had just come to the world. It was an enormous joy that did not fit in my heart and overflowed in my eyes. It has no explanation, only living.

Then something hurt my heart. It hurt me because that night I could not put my daughter in my arms. The cesarean section ended at 23.40. I could not spend that night with her because of the operation. She went to the crib and I slept in another room.

In the room where I was, beside me all mothers were bedded with their babies, except me. Every doctor who came into the room to give us medication, I asked my daughter? He could not wait to look at her face. I could not wait to put him on my lap. They brought her to her at 7.00 am, I put her on my lap and between tears of emotion I looked at her face, I looked up and said: Thank you God!

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